An Introduction to Friends with Benefits

Chris and Angie have incredible chemistry. Anyone who watches their fluid bodies on the dance floor can tell you that. Chris can always make Angie laugh. Angie can always seduce Chris.

Chris always wanted to marry a good southern country girl. He grew up in Georgia in a well off family on an old elegant plantation about an hour outside of Atlanta. He knew eventually he’d move back and settle down with a wife and a guaranteed good job at his father’s company. His father encouraged him to make his own decisions, and this was what he wanted.

Angie was a Cali girl from a single parent home. She wanted an adventure. She wasn’t opposed to marriage despite her parent’s bad luck. She just wanted to make sure hers was based on love and compatibility not “the smart financial choice”. She wanted to see Africa and start a non-profit.

They both loved to dance. And while attending University they begin to cross mutual paths at dance parties, salsa nights, and night clubs. When Chris saw her slim blonde figure glide across that dance floor at a formal ball they attended, he knew he had to touch that body.

Fortunately they connected in more than just a physical sense. Enough so that you could certainly call them friends. Country boys were hot Angie thought. And Chris found the more liberal free mindset appealing.

It wasn’t long before a long sensual night on the dance floor turned into a steamy love scene in the bedroom. His body was perfect. Her sighs were ecstasy. It wasn’t a one night stand by any means. They both knew it would happen again. But neither was it true love as some would see it. Hormones were the drivers of their “love” and they were both ok with it.

On more than one occasion a friend might see them laughing and teasing each other at an outdoor café or over an Italian dinner. But anyone who knew them would know that this was most often subconscious foreplay to their vibrant love life.

When asked by his best friend if he was getting whipped by this girl, Chris laughed “no, that would never work; you know I still like Amber back in GA. I’m just waiting on her to realize Jake is not what she wants. We still text all the time.”

Angie was too independent. She never let herself fall for guys. Sure Chris was different. They had a connection. But she could never live in Georgia. Never.

She was just happy they were friends. With some damn good benefits.

 

Getting Physical: All I Want Is Your BODY (4)

She said it just right:
“All I wanna do is love your body
Tonight’s your lucky night, I know you want it” Christina Aguillera

We all have that time when we just want somebody… and not just to cuddle, haha. There’s just something about being physical with somebody. It’s fun. It’s close. It’s intimate.

The reason why it’s fun is that besides being a body, the other person is a soul. They’re not just genitals attached to a body. They also have a soul… which makes them human.

In our sensory saturated society we feel that all we want is release. So much pressure from everywhere… it build up. And we want release. When TV, movies, commercial, music and books talk about sex, it’s hard not to think about it.

What if we play it safe, use protection and enjoy ourselves? The only catch to that is that there’s no condom for the soul. And the soul gets affected.

In a world where bodies are just cells, brought forth by evolution, biological machines well tunned… in that world sex is just to continue the species. Sex doesn’t have meaning… well, nothing does for that matter – outside a subjective experience.

But life’s not like that. Even if we don’t believe, we feel that there’s something else out there. We feel with our heart the reality of other hearts – or souls.

And when you make love to somebody, it’s not just a body, but a soul with a body. That’s why it’s so much fun. That’s why it’s serious.

 

 

Getting Physical: For Girls (3)

You’re on the couch, watching a movie and he goes for a move: what do you do? You’re making out, he’s making advances: what do you do?

It’s not a secret that guys will most likely be the first to initiate physical contact. If you’ve been dating for a while, this is no revelation.

Guys give affection for sex and girls give sex for affection.

Love is a verb. Love is a feeling. Love is action. Love is intentionality. Love has many ways of expression.

Gals, whatever you do, do it because you want to. Do it because you want to express a an attitude of the heart with your body. Don’t do it because you’re pressures into it. And do what’s right, at the proper time. Save sex for marriage. That is the propert context to express your love. You’ll be hurt if you do it before. If the physical side of the relationship progresses before your emotional and relational aspect you’re not growing healthy. If you feel like you are emotionally and physically at the point of moving forward – be there at the level of commitment as well.

Love based on feelings but without commitment will not last. Feelings change. People change, principles don’t. Commitments don’t lie – people do.

We are body and souls – develop both sides of you and your relationships – especially the romantic ones.