For some reason or another, there is this concept in evangelical circles that girls are supposed to “pray and wait” for the right guy to come along, and when he does, get married.
The fairy tale stories goes something like this…
- be a good girl
- go to college or something similar
- pray for the right guy
- keep growing and do the things you like to do
- don’t play with dating, and of course don’t fool around.
- be patient
with the desired expected conclusion
- in good timing it’ll happen:
- you will meet the guy of your dreams
- he will be everything you wanted and more
- he will be taller than the last guy who asked you out
- he has a superb track record
- is able to provide
- is spiritually mature
- he’s crazy about you
- he wants to marry you.
Let’s be honest- we all thought like this at one point or at least know somebody who does. It’s been popularized in books like “I kissed dating goodbye” or others one like it. And it’s not a bad idea… in theory. It could even happen to you. The one thing that we miss is all the hard work that goes into it.
Fairy tales can happen, if you want to work hard to make them happen. Things turning out good in this world, is a lot of work. Whether you start a business, a book or a relationship- you’ve gotta put good work to make it happen. And here is where a lot of people fall short: they would like the fairy tale to just happen, because they are special, or because God is good. God is good, all the time however, this doesn’t mean that He will give you the best marriage ever… just because you pray. He might give it to you- with a lot of work.
The challenge is the starting point: how good do you think you are? With most good kids who follow the formula above, they think they’re pretty good. This being said,they expect that God will give them a good partner. Truth is that God does want to give us good things, but He also know how far form perfect we are- and most times we don’t. So when we have to work hard to get a good date, or to make a relationship happen- we wonder if it’s the right one. We are facing who we are – not who we think we are- but who we really are interacting in a relationship. And for most people, it’s not a pretty sight because often we don’t know how imperfect we are – and relationships really bring it out.
Instead of waiting an praying for the guy or girl of our dreams- I say we start developing who we are as a person, learn to do relationship by going on a few dates, learning to talk to the opposite sex, engaging and socializing. These are just the first steps in giving us a chance for a good relationship. The first things among these, is character development of course.
Let’s not miss amazing partners by merely waiting. Let’s make these awesome relationships happen by being proactive and taking steps toward them.