Tag Archives: desperate

Oneitis: Falling in love too quickly (Part 1)

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Oneitis is a phrase coined by the dating powers that be to describe a “social disease that affects millions of people – both male and female – that [blocks] a man or a woman from seducing or romancing a member of the opposite sex. Oneitis is that social malady that results in a feeling that this person is totally special and unique and therefore one must not mess up anything with them.” (From the Urban Dictionary which has several more detailed definitions as well).

The problem with oneitis is this: your feelings begin to control everything you do. And you start to think “if I send one wrong text, make one wrong statement, ask her out one minute too soon, EVERYTHING is ruined and I will have lost the ONLY girl in the world who could truly make me happy.”

Before I go further let me say a brief disclaimer: I’m not saying there isn’t a special person who I right for you. I am saying that no matter how amazing he/she seems right now, if it ends up not working out most likely you just learned that person is NOT that special person and you are that much closer to finding them. So take cheer!

Oneitis usually effects people who think that the sea only has a few good fish in it and you better be quick before the good ones are gone. It also effects desperate people, girls who want a ring by spring, and guys who want sex and are tired of waiting for marriage. Secure, happy, and content people seldom get this malady.

Another way of looking at oneitis is to call it “falling in love too quickly”. Because eventually we want to fall in love and many of us would like to be committed to one amazing person for life, right? But what if you fell in love and start acting like you’re committed for life to a person you hardly know? You might start wondering why they don’t feel the same way and you might start missing out on other life opportunities (this is where phrases like “bros before hos” became popular). Oneitis makes us become controlling and almost desperate because we are acting like we are in love with someone who we haven’t even given the chance to fall back in love with us.

Don’t worry I’m going to talk more about what to do if you have this illness (I’ve had it a number of times so I hope to give some good advice). So look for Part  2 in the next couple of days!


Posted by on January 17, 2012 in James


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