Monthly Archives: October 2012

An Introduction to Friends with Benefits

Chris and Angie have incredible chemistry. Anyone who watches their fluid bodies on the dance floor can tell you that. Chris can always make Angie laugh. Angie can always seduce Chris.

Chris always wanted to marry a good southern country girl. He grew up in Georgia in a well off family on an old elegant plantation about an hour outside of Atlanta. He knew eventually he’d move back and settle down with a wife and a guaranteed good job at his father’s company. His father encouraged him to make his own decisions, and this was what he wanted.

Angie was a Cali girl from a single parent home. She wanted an adventure. She wasn’t opposed to marriage despite her parent’s bad luck. She just wanted to make sure hers was based on love and compatibility not “the smart financial choice”. She wanted to see Africa and start a non-profit.

They both loved to dance. And while attending University they begin to cross mutual paths at dance parties, salsa nights, and night clubs. When Chris saw her slim blonde figure glide across that dance floor at a formal ball they attended, he knew he had to touch that body.

Fortunately they connected in more than just a physical sense. Enough so that you could certainly call them friends. Country boys were hot Angie thought. And Chris found the more liberal free mindset appealing.

It wasn’t long before a long sensual night on the dance floor turned into a steamy love scene in the bedroom. His body was perfect. Her sighs were ecstasy. It wasn’t a one night stand by any means. They both knew it would happen again. But neither was it true love as some would see it. Hormones were the drivers of their “love” and they were both ok with it.

On more than one occasion a friend might see them laughing and teasing each other at an outdoor café or over an Italian dinner. But anyone who knew them would know that this was most often subconscious foreplay to their vibrant love life.

When asked by his best friend if he was getting whipped by this girl, Chris laughed “no, that would never work; you know I still like Amber back in GA. I’m just waiting on her to realize Jake is not what she wants. We still text all the time.”

Angie was too independent. She never let herself fall for guys. Sure Chris was different. They had a connection. But she could never live in Georgia. Never.

She was just happy they were friends. With some damn good benefits.

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Posted by on October 10, 2012 in James


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Friends with Benefits

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Posted by on October 9, 2012 in Uncategorized


Getting Physical: It’s Like Playing Tennis (5)

The casual, cosmopolitan, “getting physical” point of view is synthesized really well by this dialogue between Jamie and Dylan in “Friends with Benefits“:

Jamie: God, I miss sex! Right, I mean sometimes you just need it. It’s like…uh, it’s like cracking your neck.
Dylan: Why does it always gotta come with complications?
Jamie: And emotions.
Dylan: And guilt.
Jamie: Woh! Guilt!
Dylan: It’s womens fault.
Jamie: What?
Dylan: You heard me! ‘Hold me.’ ‘Lets spend the rest of our lives together.’
Jamie: Oh, please! You are no better. ‘Oh, yeah. Baby, come on now. Say my name. Yeah…eee…uuhh! I’m done. How was that?’
Dylan: Who have you been with?

Dylan: Why can it not be like that? It’s a physical act. Like playing tennis. Two people should be able to have sex like they’re playing tennis.
Jamie: Yeah! I mean, no one wants to go away for the weekend after they play tennis.
Dylan: It’s just a game. You shake hands, you get on with your sh*t.
Jamie: Yeah.
Dylan: Yeah.

This is quite a popular view. If people were just biological machines, sex could be recreational… just like tennis. With the prevention methods we have today, pregnancy is not even an issue some, why not?

If you look at life from a totally pragmatic point of view, this would make sense. I mean who does not want to have fun? After all, every one of us is a sexual being as much as he is a physical being. It really would work if we didn’t have a soul. It would be like rabbits in a zoo – just nature taking it course.

But the truth is that we have a soul, and our choices are moral choices. They involve a moral code- something that defines what is right and wrong. Some choices are amoral, like what toothpaste to buy or what color of sox to wear. But sex is a moral choice. It’s been recorded in most moral codes across time and the most authoritative one: the Bible.

Getting physical, having sex is reserved for marriage because that’s how God design it. When a man and a woman give themselves to each other, it’s not just for a moment. It’s design to creata oneness, community. And community is not built just on fillings- but on commitment as well. The beauty of sex is mirrored by the beauty of two souls becoming one, a new “we” which gets an identity of it’s own, and that “we” is a community.

We all want to be part of a healthy community, we all want to be loved. So let’s start by building healthy ones, and keeping sacred what is the most intimate community of all: marriage.

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Posted by on October 8, 2012 in Uncategorized


Getting Physical: All I Want Is Your BODY (4)

She said it just right:
“All I wanna do is love your body
Tonight’s your lucky night, I know you want it” Christina Aguillera

We all have that time when we just want somebody… and not just to cuddle, haha. There’s just something about being physical with somebody. It’s fun. It’s close. It’s intimate.

The reason why it’s fun is that besides being a body, the other person is a soul. They’re not just genitals attached to a body. They also have a soul… which makes them human.

In our sensory saturated society we feel that all we want is release. So much pressure from everywhere… it build up. And we want release. When TV, movies, commercial, music and books talk about sex, it’s hard not to think about it.

What if we play it safe, use protection and enjoy ourselves? The only catch to that is that there’s no condom for the soul. And the soul gets affected.

In a world where bodies are just cells, brought forth by evolution, biological machines well tunned… in that world sex is just to continue the species. Sex doesn’t have meaning… well, nothing does for that matter – outside a subjective experience.

But life’s not like that. Even if we don’t believe, we feel that there’s something else out there. We feel with our heart the reality of other hearts – or souls.

And when you make love to somebody, it’s not just a body, but a soul with a body. That’s why it’s so much fun. That’s why it’s serious.


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Posted by on October 7, 2012 in Uncategorized


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