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Are There Benefits to Friends with Benefits?

18 Oct

Those who wait till marriage for sex are faced with one incredible problem: what if the hormones drive the relationship? What if you’re pent up sex drive is blinding you from seeing clearly enough to avoid marrying this girl with whom you may have incredible chemistry but no real life connection or compatibility?

Friends with benefits often allows chemistry laden friends to see each other in a new light. And it doesn’t have to involve going “all the way” if that is something you are saving for marriage.

Once the sex drive is satisfied perspectives change. You can think more clearly and see if you are still interested in that person when you are not interested in them sexually.

This could certainly be a benefit for friends with benefits. If you find that the physical benefits are the only benefits you enjoy in the friendship you are probably not looking at marriage material. If you find that the physical benefits are maybe 10% of the perceived benefit of being friends with this girl: well maybe she is the one!

There are numerous times in life when we find ourselves single without a good option. And surprise, surprise there are people of the opposite sex all around us in the same situation. For whatever reason there is not a good reason for us to be in a committed relationship at the time.

Enter friends with benefits. The need for a cuddle buddy or however far you are comfortable taking it may be safely fulfilled without looking like a whore. Who doesn’t want to watch a movie with a girl snuggled up against you from time to time? And if you can maintain a good friendship afterward who’s the worse for the ware?

Now benefits beyond some cuddling and perhaps making out get more risky. Experienced or naïve, virgin or player, girls tend to get emotionally attached with various sexual encounters. More so than guys. And particularly with someone they consider a good friend or have multiple encounters with.

Friends with benefits allows you to separate the physical from relationships. In other words it allows you to think about relationships in more than just a “she’s hot, she’s not” sort of way.

Friends with benefits can also occasionally turn into excellent relationships. I think it may be because the couple begins off on the right foot, without ANY expectations, which we know tend to kill good relationships. This allows them to grow naturally, excepting each other for who they really are. Naturally.

Some people are just not ready to be married. They just are not. And to push them into it because of physical passions is a scary thing. It often ends in abuse, divorce, separation, miserable existence, guilt, condemnation, and broken hearts.

I’m not saying friends with benefits is right in all situations and to all extents. Neither am I saying it’s always wrong. What do you think?

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Posted by on October 18, 2012 in James

 

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