The casual, cosmopolitan, “getting physical” point of view is synthesized really well by this dialogue between Jamie and Dylan in “Friends with Benefits“:
Jamie: God, I miss sex! Right, I mean sometimes you just need it. It’s like…uh, it’s like cracking your neck.
Dylan: Why does it always gotta come with complications?
Jamie: And emotions.
Dylan: And guilt.
Jamie: Woh! Guilt!
Dylan: It’s womens fault.
Dylan: You heard me! ‘Hold me.’ ‘Lets spend the rest of our lives together.’
Jamie: Oh, please! You are no better. ‘Oh, yeah. Baby, come on now. Say my name. Yeah…eee…uuhh! I’m done. How was that?’
Dylan: Who have you been with?
Dylan: Why can it not be like that? It’s a physical act. Like playing tennis. Two people should be able to have sex like they’re playing tennis.
Jamie: Yeah! I mean, no one wants to go away for the weekend after they play tennis.
Dylan: It’s just a game. You shake hands, you get on with your sh*t.
This is quite a popular view. If people were just biological machines, sex could be recreational… just like tennis. With the prevention methods we have today, pregnancy is not even an issue some, why not?
If you look at life from a totally pragmatic point of view, this would make sense. I mean who does not want to have fun? After all, every one of us is a sexual being as much as he is a physical being. It really would work if we didn’t have a soul. It would be like rabbits in a zoo – just nature taking it course.
But the truth is that we have a soul, and our choices are moral choices. They involve a moral code- something that defines what is right and wrong. Some choices are amoral, like what toothpaste to buy or what color of sox to wear. But sex is a moral choice. It’s been recorded in most moral codes across time and the most authoritative one: the Bible.
Getting physical, having sex is reserved for marriage because that’s how God design it. When a man and a woman give themselves to each other, it’s not just for a moment. It’s design to creata oneness, community. And community is not built just on fillings- but on commitment as well. The beauty of sex is mirrored by the beauty of two souls becoming one, a new “we” which gets an identity of it’s own, and that “we” is a community.
We all want to be part of a healthy community, we all want to be loved. So let’s start by building healthy ones, and keeping sacred what is the most intimate community of all: marriage.