Hi ya’ll! Let me introduce myself. I’m Ashley, aka Spookysister7. I have a blog about my Christian dating adventures over on Twitterpatedss7. Now, I know if you have been reading this blog, you are getting some great tips on Christian dating from a male perspective. But what about the female voice? Are ya’ll interested in that? I’m sure you are, so here is some advice, straight from the horse’s mouth.
First of all, men and women think differently. Well, DUH, right? Let me explain…
Sex and dating are the topics du jour, so I’ll focus on that. Let’s start with a ‘good Christian girl’. I’ll assume that is what you are looking for. Well, what SHE is looking for is a husband. Now, don’t get me wrong. Not every woman is ready to settle down, and not every date has to be with THE ONE. But keep in mind that, especially as women get older and more mature, they are looking for THE ONE.
I won’t get into what THE ONE looks like. It varies according to the woman, but hopefully you want to be THE ONE. You want to find a woman to spend the rest of your life with. You want to find someone who is fun and sexy and loving. You want THE ONE too. Now, how we define who is THE ONE is where the differences come in.
We all have points. That is why you do nice things for a girl, to earn points. Those points get you a smile or a hug or a kiss. I’m not trying to say that dating is solely a transaction of points, something soulless and meaningless. But, just like in a Christian life, works count. You have to have faith, but faith without works is dead. So is love without action. Remember: LOVE IS AN ACTION.
From a man’s point of view, big things equal lots of points. If a dozen roses get you a hug, then two dozen should get you a kiss and so on. Taking her out to a nice restaurant gets you more points than taking her out to Chick-Fil-A.
Uh oh. This is where the trouble starts. You see, women don’t think like that. One action gets one point. That means whether you get her one rose, a dozen roses or a hundred roses you still only get one point. Now, at first you think this sucks, but think about it this way: instead of you having to do REALLY BIG THINGS to impress her and get points, you can do a lot of not so very big things and get the same points. Open the door for her: 1 point. Pull out her chair: 1 point. Complement her hair: 1 point! You get it.
And remember that points with women don’t hang around long. It is a daily thing. Just because you took her to the theatre yesterday doesn’t mean you can slack off today. Women thrive on consistency. They love to feel loved and respected and special.
Now, let’s get into the sex thing. I’m not even really talking about sex per se. Kissing, hugging, touching, making out, necking, whatever you want to call it. Getting a woman turned on is different than getting a man turned on. I’m not saying it is easier or harder, faster or slower, but you need to understand something about women: they have to feel the love emotionally before they’ll feel anything physically. You can do the same physical thing and get a different response based on how she is feeling emotionally.
Let me make this simple for you. Women need you to touch their heart before you ever touch their bodies.
If you want to learn more about how women (and men) work in a lasting relationship, then please check out Christian relationship counselor and lecturer Mark Gungor’s awesome YouTube videos Keeping Score in Relationships and #1 Key to Incredible Sex.