Better to live on a rooftop…

17 Mar

…than with a nagging woman: why nagging is so unbearable for healthy relationships.

We’ve been talking a lot about relationships and what kills them lately. Guys can often be controlling, both men and women can have lofty expectations. One thing that I have seen kill the joy in a number of relationships is a nagging wife or girlfriend.

Before you get defensive, I’d like to say that like controlling boyfriends these women often mean no harm at all. It may just be that you want to make sure your relationships survives because you see so many that don’t and you hope by getting on the guy’s case enough he will take those right steps. Others may notice problems with their man (he likes to smoke and its bad for his lungs) and so they seek to change him by constantly bringing those issues up.

While it is great to want your partner’s best interest, think about yourself ladies: how many times have you almost wanted to do the opposite when your man told you what to do. Even if he said it in a loving way, you may feel that desire to prove him wrong. That’s human nature; we don’t like people trying to change us.

And in fact, we can’t change people. He may give in to stop the nagging but he will grow to resent you in the process and will look for a way to do what he wants behind your back. Real change comes from within, when someone is convinced in their own heart that they need to change, that they want to change, that they can change, and that it’s worth the work that it will take to get there.


This post is continued on our new website:

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Posted by on March 17, 2012 in James


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