Being good at relationships is a skill that is acquired.
By doing relationship.
You get good at relationships, by being involved in relationships.
As Christians, we are often afraid of failure. We don’t want to do what’s wrong, we don’t want to mess up. Sometimes we would rather not do something, than do it and fail at it. This mentality often pervades evangelicals. And it inhibits us to do relationships.
“I want my first boyfriend to be my husband”. Great desire, hardly the case. We’ve hear people say that. Straight shot, getting it right from the begging. I’m not saying it can’t be done. I’m saying that we’re not naturally good at it. We learn by practice, we learn by doing. It’s the same with relationships. We learn how to interact with women by having friends who are girls, by spending time doing what they want, seeing the world from their perspective.
It doesn’t come natural for most guys. You’ll have to learn how to think through the prism of emotions. It’s taking other people’s emotions into account. Guys are so factual, they usually don’t pick up on all these relational clues. Emotions is information. If you miss an emotional communication, you’ve missed part of what was being communicated. Guys have to learn to gather that information and process is effectively, thus being an emotional mature person. Emotionally savvy individuals do better in life and business. Oh, an relationships of course.
Don’t mean to throw blanket statements over there, but some girls may be so overwhelmed by emotions that they are not reasonable. There’s many reasons why that could happen, yet the same effect- not being reasonable. Knowing how to handle’s one emotions is also part of emotional intelligence. Learning coping skills will make for a better partner.
What I’m trying to say is that we shouldn’t have this expectation that life will just work out. Sometimes it doesn’t and this is not a reflection of your character of choices. It just is. What we can do, is choose a response and choose to grow in maturity. Don’t hope to be good at relationship -become good at relationships. Become by doing. And if you find out that you’re not as good as your thought you were, well, count it as a blessings. It’s a lesson that you can learn to become better.
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