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Do you know any solid Christian girls who are becoming seriously interested in a non-Christian guy? Does this surprise you or shock you in any way?
There was once a time in my idealistic past where I thought that all “good” Christian girls would automatically eliminate any non-Christian as an option in their dating pursuits. Idealism long gone, I now see Christian girls dating non-Christian guys as quite a possibility and in fact perhaps a growing trend.
In our last two posts we discussed how Christian dating has elevated this idea of abstinence to such a level, making the v-card (technical as it may be) a highly prized possession. While we would not say abstinence till marriage is a bad idea, we are saying playing games with our actions and our words in this area may not be healthy either.
What I’m getting at is this: it seems that very outward signs of Christianity such as not drinking, being a worship major, wearing modest closes, and of course abstinence, have been elevated to such a level as to neglect other perhaps more or equally important areas.
What about the idea of being understanding toward your wife (1 Peter 3:7). Paul talks about loving your wife and not being harsh with her. These ideas of love and understanding make me think that they are talking about empathy: simply understanding a woman’s point of view, thinking through her mindset, and respecting and loving that different view point.
What about the idea of being a leader. We’ve covered significantly the subject of men not being able to be leaders and make decisions and how women struggle with that. Some Christian guys take it too far and become dominant and controlling. This is a much an insecurity and the inability to make decisions.
What about the concept of practicing what you preach? If you’re going to quote scriptures and condemn those heathens who aren’t living according to the Word you better be sure you are living up to those lofty standards.
I could go on. The point is that I see many Christian women struggling to find a good Christian guy who has more than just a few outwardly noticeable morals, a man who realizes that a relationship with his wife means more than just quoting some Scripture and expecting her to submit. Its more than being a worship leader or sending the kids to Christian school. Its a lifestyle of self-sacrifice and joyful servant leadership.
So these girls are looking for that elsewhere. And because of teaching about marriage being a good thing (and it is) and sex before it being a bad thing (once again), these girls are willing to consider non-Christians who seem to get it, even if they may be missing the spiritual aspect.
And certainly Christianity has become an outward shell for many Christian women too, which may have them thinking “if he just goes to church he’s good enough”. If all you want is acceptance in the Christian sub-culture that probably is good enough.