How to be a REAL man

01 Feb

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1). Put away the video game controller. This is code for stop wasting time doing antisocial, mind numbing activities that decrease your ability to relate to others. Guys we know that we already struggle with being in the moment and connecting with other people. Video games are not helping.

2). Have a mission and a purpose and pursue it. This is another reason to stop video gaming. Why? A real man has something he is living for. He’s not aimlessly living for cheap thrills and one night stands. That’s a boy trying to compensate in a man’s world. A real man has a plan and lives his life for a purpose (to serve others, to teach something he’s passionate about, to develop an excellent product, to love his family, etc.).

3). Life is not about instant gratification. A real man doesn’t need the crutches of instant gratification but enjoys entertainment and pleasure in moderation. He realizes that it is often worth sacrificing cheap happiness now for great joy later. On the flip side he is not against pleasure but in fact is better able to enjoy it because he values it and understands its proper use. A skilled driver enjoys a sports car much more than a first timer who ends up crashing the car in his excitement.

4). Take initiative and risks. We’ve talked about this before. Be a risk taker. Go up to that girl who is “out of your league” and talk to her. And if she shuts you down do it again (not in a creeper sort of way!). A real man takes a plunge because he can take the fall. He understands economics. Greater risk=greater reward.

5). Be a leader. When everyone else is pandering to each other and unable to make a decision step up. Say “we’re doing this, who wants to go”. Take control of the situation and don’t leave people wondering in the dark. When your girl asks you where you want to eat tell her. Don’t say “I don’t care baby, where do you want to eat.”

6). Make decisions. Action. Not passivity. If a decision has to be made don’t be afraid to make it. Step up and be a man. Don’t be stupid and just randomly choose stuff. Think about it. Pray about it. Weight the options. But make a decision. If it’s an issue you’re not ready to make a decision on (who to marry, whether or not to move to Alaska) than don’t wallow in indecision. Make the decision not to decide and focus on something else. If it’s a decision that must be made now, make it. Except the consequences. Remember take a risk eh?

7). Be strong. If you have values stick to them. If you have standards keep them. If you make a boundary don’t let someone cross it. If you say, “I don’t tolerate whining” and whining occurs than don’t tolerate it. But don’t be a jackass.

8). Empathize. Don’t be so stuck in your own little black and white world. This is not manly. This is insecurity. Look at something from your girls’ perspective or your brothers. And see how you could be wrong. Or maybe you’re not, but from their perspective it appears differently. Be able to connect on an emotional level with a woman. This is an art. Most males can’t do it. Real men can. Without losing their masculinity.

9). The world is not black and white. Ok maybe it is. From God’s view. But you’re not God. And you’re not God’s gift to women. So stop being a boy and forcing your opinions down people’s throats. Stand by your personal standards and values but think outside the box and realize that the rest of the world isn’t you and doesn’t have a responsibility to live your way. But you do.

10). Anticipate success. Not in an arrogant fashion. But with confidence. Be confident that you can be a man that a woman will love. And if you’re not: re-read what I just wrote and become one. Its hard work. But real men work real hard. Get off your ass and grow up.


Posted by on February 1, 2012 in James


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4 responses to “How to be a REAL man

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